Salomon and I have been trying to conceive another child for over 2 years now, maybe even close to 3 years. I have lost count. My heart does not ache. I am not sad. I do not get mad or upset when someone I know gets pregnant before I do - after all - they are not stealing MY babies from heaven. Mine are on reserve for ME - its just a matter of time right? I do worry and wonder IF, but for the longest time it just never felt right to really seek out any professional help with trying to see if something was "wrong" - until recently. I met with my doctor and dicussed options and we decided to do an HSG xray (http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/guide/hysterosalpingogram-21590) to see if my fallopian tubes were blocked. After a VERY uncomfortable xray I was able to actually SEE that they were blocked! This was good news to me because I am hoping that maybe that it all it was stopping us from conceiving. This along with ovulation test kits, blood tests etc... should help us on our way to another beautiful baby. We hope :)
I know God has a plan for me, for us, and I am reminded over and over again that I need to trust Him and His TIMING. I dont have all the answers, or any really when it comes to why we just cant seem to get pregnant. But I guess it is not the point to have all the answers, I just need to trust that whatever the outcome, it was Gods will and I have to be ok with that. Hmmm... this theme keeps popping up in my life. I guess that is what being a beliver, a disciple is all about. Trusting and following God and not questioning Him, His will or His timing. Something I really need to study and apply in my life more.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Cancer
So my life has been crazy this year. So many things have gone on that have left my mind spinning, my heart aching, and my emotions fragile to say the least. Through it all I have been blessed to have an eternal perspective that helps calm me down and brings peace to me and I have been blessed with a wonderful supportive husband and friends. Life throws many twists and turns and I am still learning how to roll with it all. In the midst of all this, we found out last week that my mom has cancer. A blood cancer. She has been through so much already this year with her multiple surgeries and hospitalizations (hip replacements, broken femur, infections and kidney problems). Cancer was not what we were expecting next. There is no cure but it is treatable and chemo treatments are underway. She is handling those well, but most of all she is handling this diagnosis amazingly. My mom is amazing! She is the strongest person I know. She has a strong testimony and relationship with her Father in Heaven and Savior Jesus Christ. They have prepared her for this and are helping her carry the burdens placed on her. She is doing well and for that I am so grateful. I worry, Im sad, I want this to go away (along with a handful of other problems), but I too have been blessed through this and I know that God is in control. My test is to align my will with His - no matter what it is. My mom is a fighter and I will fight with her.
Liane's first day of preschool (Sept 7)
My baby started school!!!!! She was SO excited and did great! She starts dance class tomorrow (at the same place her school is held) and she is beyond excited! My baby is growing up! Bitter sweet, very bitter sweet. (ps - she is sportin a new hair cut courtesy of herself! Another first for us this year - she cut her own hair. Thankgoodness she cut it shoulder length!! We love it!)
Antelope Island
Went to Antelope Island for the first time this summer. The island itself was cool and we had a good time picnicing and such. The "beach" however was a joke. Nasty as all get out, bugs EVERYWHERE, and smelled awful. Utah, we need to talk about your definition of "beach". This Cali girl aint buyin it!
Camping at Yuba Lake (August)
We are still on the hunt for "our" family camping spot. We tried Yuba Lake this year and enjoyed it. Great camp site, not a lot of bugs, pretty lake etc... only problem was the limited beach play access - great if you are a boater, but maybe not for those just wanting to play at the beach. Still had a great time!
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